Courage (Part 2)

As I thought about courage, I also thought about 2 other words with courage in them: encourage and discourage.

Let's start with definitions: 

Encourage: to inspire with courage, spirit, or confidence; to stimulate by assistance or approval.

Discourage: to deprive or courage, hope, or confidence; dishearten; dispirit.

As I was thinking of these other couples and the sad things that were taking place, I reflected upon my own marriage.  I am not pointing fingers at any of these people (obviously some made really bad choices) but hearing these stories made me want to protect and work on my own even more. 

Earlier this year we took a short road trip to Houston on our way home we played The Un-game to pass the time.  If you are not familiar with this game it is a card game where each player takes a turn picking a card and then answering the question on it.  Other players are not allowed to interrupt or comment on what they say. Peter got this question (or something like it): Who encourages you?

He thought about it for awhile and then said, "Nobody." The silence had already made me realize that I was obviously not the answer.  I couldn't resist so I said, "what about your dad?" He said that yea his dad did kind of but there was not really anyone. 

At that moment, I felt like a failure of a wife. 

I have thought a great deal about this and how I treat Peter and what it means to encourage someone. It also made me wonder if by not encouraging someone if you were in a way discouraging them or at least leading them to a path of discouragement. 

I love Peter and I tell him that all of the time.  We kiss and hold hands and find opportunities to talk about life and work and kids and us.  But after this game, I have tried even harder to ask him about work, scouts, the projects around the house he wants to do.  I try to recognize him more and give credit to him for the many things he does.  I try to point out to our children how much their dad loves them and works for them. I need to be a champion for my husband as much as I try to be for my kids.  

I can not say that I have seen some sort of obvious change in Peter or our relationship really.  But, I do feel that I love Peter more and I am more aware of the amazing man he is which has affected our relationship for me. 

I am sure that each of us can remember a time in our lives when we were discouraged.  It is hard to see the light sometimes. When I think of some of the harder times in my life, discouragement becomes a vicious cycle.  Everything seems bad even if in a better time in my life it would be just normal.  Satan wants us to feel that way.  

I love the talk given by Pres. Henry B. Eyring from last conference: Mountains to climb.  

Here are 2 quotes from it:

My purpose today is to describe what I know of how we can lay that unshakable foundation. I do it with great humility for two reasons. First, what I say could discourage some who are struggling in the midst of great adversity and feel their foundation of faith is crumbling. And second, I know that ever-greater tests lie before me before the end of life. Therefore, the prescription I offer you has yet to be proven in my own life through enduring to the end.

Now, I wish to encourage those who are in the midst of hard trials, who feel their faith may be fading under the onslaught of troubles. Trouble itself can be your way to strengthen and finally gain unshakable faith. Moroni, the son of Mormon in the Book of Mormon, told us how that blessing could come to pass. He teaches the simple and sweet truth that acting on even a twig of faith allows God to grow it:

“And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.

“For it was by faith that Christ showed himself unto our fathers, after he had risen from the dead; and he showed not himself unto them until after they had faith in him; wherefore, it must needs be that some had faith in him, for he showed himself not unto the world.

“But because of the faith of men he has shown himself unto the world, and glorified the name of the Father, and prepared a way that thereby others might be partakers of the heavenly gift, that they might hope for those things which they have not seen.

“Wherefore, ye may also have hope, and be partakers of the gift, if ye will but have faith.”⁷

I am trying harder in my life to find ways to encourage those around me and to avoid discouraging my kids or husband. I hope I can even work on finding better ways to encourage my friends and family.