Light the Word- Humility

The church this year is doing a wonderful advent through social media called Light the World. It has been such a blessing to participate in. Today we are supposed to think of how the Savior showed humility and think of a time when we learned humility or had to have humility.  

I have had many humbling experiences in my life but this is one that I have not shared often probably because I am ashamed of my quick judgments and lack of compassion. 

Many years ago, when I was working in Utah I was charge nurse on a particularly busy night. As I was working through the charts and trying to move some patients to rooms, I was reading chief complaints and came to one that said post partum constipation.  You may be thinking Shellie, how could you be judgmental about constipation after delivery (it is real, it happens, even to me).  Well, the judgment came when I looked at her age...16.  I thought to myself and may have even muttered out loud something along the lines of "Well, if she had not been having sex so young she would not have found herself in this situation." Shameful already, yes but it gets worse.  

She was brought back to her room by a volunteer and the assigned nurse was busy so I did the initial evaluation. I asked her what was going on and how long she had been having symptoms and when she had delivered.  I asked if the deliver had any complications.  She answered all of my questions and I ended my evaluation, which I likely did not do in my most loving and patient nurse voice- I was all business, it was busy and remember my previous judgment. I told her I was sorry she was not feeling well and that a doctor would be in shortly and on a happy note I said is baby doing well at least?  She had not brought baby with her.  Then her eyes filled with tears and she said " I don't know I gave her up for adoption."  

My heart sank. I could not believe that I had just minutes before looked at some basic facts, made quick judgments in my mind and assumed she was a young teen who just wanted to play mom.  My eyes filled with tears and I did what I could to console her by telling her that she had made such a brave and wonderful decision.  I then reassured her we would get her feeling better so that she could really start to heal.  

That awful moment has never left me.  I was not the bigger, older or more mature person in that room that day.  That young teenage girl was miles and miles ahead of me.  I have tried really hard since that experience, especially at work, to be open minded about chief complaints that seem like something that could be handled at home or at a doctor's or just simply not my emergency.  It is an emergency to them and it may not always have to do with their physical state. 

I realize there are only about 5 people who ever look at this and so maybe I am still hiding my shame by not sharing this in a more open forum but I am sharing it.  I think of when Christ went to the pool at Bethesda and healed the man who had been lying there for years.  He did not enter and make quick judgments about who was most deserving or even who deserved their "consequences".  Nope, he just went there and healed and loved. I have tried to do better and will keep on trying.