Tears of...

This has been a week of great reflection. My mind has been a whirlwind of ideas, questions, and worry. For months now we have heard how the economy is shifting and people's lives are being thrown into turmoil by these changes. It is so odd to have it be my family now. Peter has been handling this all very well. He finished up resume and applied for his first job today. He is applying for two more tomorrow. These are about the only three local jobs and since real estate is what it is, we are going to try and stay in Las Vegas if possible. If in about 5 months we have still had no luck finding a job down here we will begin our search outside of Las Vegas. I have been able to add s hifts at work and will be able to provide for our family. This is where the first tears come. I have shed tears of immense joy that I have an education and parents that supported even insisted on me getting aneducation. Tears for the sacrifice my parents made for this to be possible. Tears for the fact that I have continued to work just a shift a week to keep my license so that just in case I could support my family. Tears that we are living in that "just in case." When I told my mom thank you for my education she told me that she and my dad heard a talk by Pres. Hinckely where he admonished members to get an education. Thus, tears for faithful parents who followed the prophet and in turn taught me to follow the prophet. While we are discussing parents, I have shed tears for the concern and love I have heard in the voices of my family and Peter's family.

Tears have come knowing we have food storage, savings, and a garden. More blessings and peace brought to me and my family by following the prophet.

Tears for the wonderful husband I have that is so smart, loving, faithful and eternally mine. He is a hard worker and any company would be lucky to have him as an employee. Tears for the hurt I have glimpsed in his eyes, as he faces what most of us would feel if we were laid off and no longer able to provide as we had for our family. Tears for the sweet way Joey was so proud of himself for being "in charge" of the house while Peter went to LDS Employment Services and I slept between shifts this last weekend. He had turned on Arabella's music in her crib and made his own chocolate milk and ensured Jon stayed asleep during his nap. Tears for Jon's amazing understanding of Jesus and how he made all of the animals, bugs and that he was hurt by the soldiers with a spear and nails. Tears for the time I will lose seeing Arabella grow and discover the world around her by working more hours.

My eyes have welled with tears so many times this week and yet I would be lying if I said they were all tears of sorrow. Most of those tears were tears of gratitude and peace. I have been given such an overwhelming presence of the comforter. I know in my heart and mind that all will be well. Reflecting back on my life, I recall numerous times where the Lord has taken control of my life usually with what feels like an abrupt stop and then led me to the best outcome. He knows me and my family. I know He will bless us and as long as I continue to put my faith and trust in Him and His timing, I will be able to look back on this time in our life and see the many blessings in it. We can not comprehend the mansions he has in store for us in heaven and I believe it is often similar in our lives here on earth. He has blessings in store for us that are wonderful and great but the pathway may be a rough, steep upward climb. I know I will be able to hold on and endure with my sweet husband and children by my side. So to fill in my title, this week has been filled with tears of peace.